My Paperclips....An Altar of Remembrance



Hanging from the rearview mirror of my vehicle is a chain of paperclips - I am not sure how many I have collected but it now loops around my mirror several times over. I love my paperclips…..they remind me that God is with me - He has oftentimes shown me a paperclip to remind me He is here, actively paying attention.

A little over a year ago, I was dropping a contract off to another realty office in town and did not have a paperclip to clasp the pages together. I was going thru a tough time - money was (and still is) an issue and I had really been seeking God and wanting to know Him as my Provider. (Maybe you have heard a little about the housing market on the news?) I decided that when I got to my destination that I would just simply ask the receptionist for one - no big deal. I am walking along the sidewalk, headed to the front entrance, and on the ground is a paperclip - ‘that’s pretty cool’, I thought, but there were other people around and I didn’t want to bend over to pick it up. I went in, got my paperclip, submitted my contract, and headed back to my vehicle - again passing the paperclip on the sidewalk. I felt a twinge within…..but, oh well, and I went on.

I had to now meet another client at her office so I headed straight to her. I am walking along the interior corridor to her office and there is another paperclip on the floor - only now I don’t need one - so I pass it by. The twinge really gets strong now - was this God showing me something? I came home and told my husband the story and about the conviction I felt for not picking up the silly paperclips. He gets a kick out of my musings sometimes and jokingly said, “Yep, that was it - you missed God.” I then prayed that God would give me another chance and this time I would pick up the paperclip. I do believe it was the very next day, I was walking into my own office building headed to my office and there on the floor……yep, a paperclip. I picked it up and remember feeling Him - I quickly text my kids and husband and told them, ‘I did it, I picked up the paperclip.’ They were not quite as thrilled as I was, but for me, that was God telling me He not only cared about the little trivial needs that I have - like a paperclip - but He really does care about the bigger issues in my life, and He is providing for those also.

Since that time, I have some great stories about my God and His paperclips…..so many. Once I was in a vacant house waiting to show it; I was praying and felt God tell me there was a paperclip there for me in the kitchen. I quickly went into the empty kitchen and started searching the cleaned out cabinets. I opened a top drawer - but not all the way - didn’t see anything and closed it back, but felt God say I needed to look all the way to the back; so I opened the next drawer, pulling it all the way out, and sure enough there was a paperclip in the very back tucked under the contact paper. That was a WOW moment with God!

Another time I was headed into Wal-Mart after work - it had been a pretty stressful day - and I asked God to please show me a paperclip; I so needed to know He was with me. I did my shopping and headed to the check-out and was getting a little discouraged because I had not found one yet. As I was waiting to check out, I was praying and started feeling again like there was a paperclip for me very close. Believe me I was searching all around that little lane but couldn’t see it - I felt like I needed to bend down and look under the counter and there it was….a yellow paperclip on the floor next to the base of the counter.

These are just a couple of stories…..but they are mine and I cherish them for they are my Altar of Remembrance that my God is a real and active God - He loves to delight me with His presence and I am so glad because I am often times a wreck and couldn’t make it without Him - I need the assurance that He is with me.

I know I can get hung up on the paperclips - searching for “them” and not HIM - I never want them to become an idol; I try to keep that thought in mind with my motives in check. For right now, I can be driving and look at my chain of paperclips hanging from my rearview mirror and remember my God and where we have been together……and that He is still with me.

Sweet friends, remember Him……where you have been with Him…..what He has done for you in the past……He has been faithful before……He will be faithful again……let God help you make your own Altar of Remembrance and Remember HIM.

Pray For Your Church

One Sunday night, several years ago, at what was probably then the peak of our church, I was sitting alone in a pew before services and delighting in watching my church family fellowship. I remember such an incredible peace and really loving my church. People were coming in, the musicians were setting up, there was hugging, and laughing - I was just taking it all in and felt so tremendously blessed to be a part of this family. As I was sitting there pondering these things and relishing the love, the friendship, the worship - my thoughts went to the church I had attended as a child and young teen. At the time, it seemed like a vibrant church, too - I don’t know numbers, it was a small church, but I remember having several friends in my Sunday School class and when the sanctuary doors opened, it seemed like people poured out. I had a good time there - even though saying I was a Christian infant gives me too much credit. For whatever reason, my parents quit going there and have only graced the doors of another church since then a hand full of times. I am not sure what happened but by this time, the church looked run down, the pastor’s house next to it was in desperate need, the yard wasn’t being kept up - I wasn’t even sure services were taking place there anymore. I became sad and started wondering what happened to that church - how could it had seemed so full of life and now look so dead. I wondered what was happening to the pastor there and where did all the people go.

Well, church service was now getting ready to start so everyone was finding their place and a couple sat down in front of me. This is a great couple, to this day they are still a part of our church and actively involved - I say that because of what happened next. They were having a conversation and I honestly was not trying to eavesdrop, but couldn’t help it - they were right in front of me. They were talking about another member of our church - in a not so pleasant light - I know they never would have wanted me to hear; or anyone else for that matter - I also believe they never would have wanted to hurt the person they were talking about; they were just conversing between themselves, and right or wrong, I think we have all done this at one time. I am not judging, but IMMEDIATELY my perception of my church crashed around me and I felt God tell me to start praying for the love of my church.

Since that time, A LOT has changed within our church. Our senior pastor and youth pastor were both called away, we have had a change in staff, our numbers decreased, but God has continued His work. We have a new pastor and youth pastor, new staff, and new faces within our family. I’m just now reminded of a verse I read in my devotions today, Isaiah 43:19, “Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?”. I honestly just remembered that - He is so good!
In Revelation 1, Jesus tells us He is in the midst of our churches, He is the head of the church (Colossians 1:18) and in Philippians 1:6, we are told that He who has begun a good work will continue it until the day of Jesus Christ.

Please commit to praying for your church, your pastor, the existing ministries, and new ones God wants to use you for. I’m setting this up for where I think God is leading our church right now - I mentioned in the previous post about recently praying for our church and God showing us how He uses our personal situations to mirror what is taking place on a much larger scale within our churches, or His people. The story above is one of many times since that God has used me or my prayer partners to overhear or witness something within our church that we needed to address in prayer. We are the watchmen on the wall….I will speak more again in a later post, but for now….Pray!

The ONE Who Seals, Heals, and Fills....



Lately I have been thinking about where I am in my walk with God - He has shown me so much during these last several months while going thru this trial - to the point where I actually thanked Him for what I am going thru. I would never have clung to Him as Redeemer the way I do now, or how much He really loves me, if I wasn’t so desperately pressed into Him right now. He really has “showed up” full of mercy and grace - I am still holding out to see Him as my Deliverer and holding onto His promise in Psalm 71 that “He has already given the command to save me”.

The Lord has brought many others into my life during this time that I have been able to relate to - the things they share with me have helped strengthen me on this journey, and for others, I have seen God use me to provide them with hope in their circumstance. That is why I chose the particular title for this post today….I am just one cracked pot telling another cracked pot about the One who seals, heals, and fills. He is so good!

It seems I have been bombarded about my testimony to others. In several of the Psalms I have been praying, it talks about telling of His marvelous works - so therefore, He must DO marvelous works and He wants us to tell people about what He has done. In Sunday School, we are going thru Revelation and at the end of every letter to the churches in Chapters 3-4, He says “let those who have an ear, hear what the Spirit is saying to the churches.”. How can we hear if we don’t tell? We must share what God has put on our hearts, what He has told us, in order to edify and affirm the work He is doing.

I have been thinking a lot about prayer also - when you are in a desperate situation, prayer becomes very sweet. I can just look at the place where I kneel down in my living room and feel a longing to be there before Him right now. I have tears now thinking about it - He is amazing! So many places in Scripture He tells us to turn to Him, to cry out to Him, to seek Him, to call to Him - He then follows up with so many promises that He will turn to us, He will hear, He will be found, He will act. Ahhh, I do delight in His word!
For several months, I was praying faithfully for some of my friends and the situations I knew they were dealing with. I was doing this, for one, because I love them and knew they also needed to see God in their lives, two, because I knew I was too consumed with my own problem and I knew God didn’t want that. I found it very beneficial to pray earnestly for others, and I honestly tried to pray for them just as desperately as I was for myself because I knew their situation was just as stressing on them as mine was on me. I would also keep in touch with them with insight from my devotions and would send them little text messages throughout the day to let them know I was thinking about them and praying for them - I selfishly admit, I did this also, because even though I did want to be an encouragement to them, I wanted to stay at the forefront of their minds because I needed their prayers, too.

For whatever reason, I have slacked on this - I’m not sure why - my situation is just as desperate, but I do have a greater peace; things have also been very busy, but that is no excuse when you have a friend in need. I want to apologize and ask forgiveness of my friends and commit to pray for them more diligently as I know they are also still in their circumstance. The last few days have been a little rough again and I was thinking about what has changed - this came to mind - I was not encouraging my friends and taking my focus off of myself as I had been; I also was not seeking them to pray for me as I had done before. PRAYER WORKS and the words of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 are true, “Two are better than one…for if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift Him up!”. I would love to know that time meant a lot to you also - that you needed and felt the encouragement and prayers going up on your behalf.

Yesterday, I met with Linda for prayer and I have a lot more to share on that in a later post regarding how God uses our personal struggles - as individuals - to mirror what is going on in His church as a whole. It was powerful! One of the verses, she shared with me was Job 42:10, “And the Lord turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends…”. Wow! I know I need your prayers and covet them - I will pray for you, too!

After This.....

I don't know if I can articulate the awe that I am feeling within my soul. I am amazed at my God, how deeply He loves, and how tenacious He is for me to know Him. This has been a great Thanksgiving weekend - I took a much needed break from work and had a great time with family. More importantly, I had a great time celebrating my Lord and remembering who He is and what He has done for me.

On Friday, I spent some time watching Beth Moore's Revelation video - SO MUCH of this session spoke to me - from the very first words of the first verse in our study, "After this...",  (Rev. 4:1) - praise God there is an "after this" and I am not stuck in my circumstances. This particular session is teaching on Revelation 4 & 5; John's vision of the Throne Room of God. As the study progressed, she elaborated on 5:6 that says John turned and saw "a lamb as though it had been slain". This is so rich I can not even put it to words and do it any sort of justice, but because our Jesus was slain, is the only way I am even able to approach this throne - His throne. The throne of Almighty, All Powerful God - this was never even an option until He became sin (2 Cor. 5:21) and paid the penalty for ALL of my sins.

She also talked about a suitable helper for Adam and how he was first allowed to feel and know the loss, the absence, the depravity of not having a suitable counterpart for himself (Gen. 2:18-20). On Saturday (11-27-10), I read a devotional from Ransomed Heart (John Eldredge) about Eve being a "help meet" for Adam - the Greek/Hebrew is Ezer Kenegdo - Ezer is used only 20 more times in the Old Testament and then only refers to God Himself, when we need Him to come through for us DESPERATELY - when He is our ONLY hope - it means HELP - real, active HELP. WOW! I feel like I am so there - I am in desperate need; He is my only hope; but I find myself wondering if He is going to come thru for me; if He is going to help me - I keep reminding Him He is my Ezer. Thank You, Lord.

In Sunday School this morning, I watched the Beth Moore DVD again with my class, so the message I had already received about being able to approach the Throne of Grace boldly (Heb. 4:16) because of what our Jesus has done on our behalf was fresh and taking root into my heart. I then went on to our worship service. As soon as I walked thru the sanctuary doors, I saw the Lord's Supper prepared, and my insides SUNK. Is that horrible? I don't know how you may feel during the Lord's Supper, but I feel shame, wretchedness, seperation - my sin comes to the forefront of my thoughts and I feel absolutely unworthy to partake in something so holy - He has done so much for me and I have done nothing but mess things up. The songs we sang so spoke of God's redemption - it blessed my soul. Our pastor preached on 2 Corinthians 5:15-21 and talked about how 'On the cross, God treated Jesus as if He had lived my life, and in return, I get treated as if I lived His' - WOW! Beth discussed how my sin has been hurled into the sea that is before the Throne (Rev. 4: 6 & Micah 7:19 ), my Jesus paid my sin debt so I can come before His throne....BOLDLY.....asking Him to change my circumstances; I have access to Him so I can ask for help - I can trust He is my Ezer - my True HELPER, because He has reconciled me to Himself. He is my God and I am His daughter. This is something to definitely be thankful for!!

Abide In Me

Earlier today, I was watching a DVD in the Esther Bible Study by Beth Moore. I noticed she referred to verses, or passages of scripture, as "addresses". I believe she did this twice without making any reference to her wording; however, it caught my attention and I started thinking.

I have a tendency to "live" in the pit (as Beth might say). I have lived in various places of the same neighborhood - on the streets of despair, doubt, selfishness, unbelief, insecurity, discontentment - sad to say, but the list could go on and on.

God's Word has definitely been water to my thirsty soul, light to my darkness, hope in my despair - my peace, my life, my joy, my salvation. He is my God and I am ever so thankful for His Word. I have truly needed - more than food - to take in His precious words and roll them continually around my heart and mind - wanting ever so desperately for them to permeate every aspect of my being.

He tells us in John 1 that He is the Word made flesh and in John 15, He tells us repeatedly to "abide" in Him. Abide, or live, in Him, or His Word. Take these "addresses" and MOVE THERE - ABIDE - off the dark, harmful streets of destruction - ABIDE in the Truth, the promises, and in who God says we are, not what the world says about us or what the enemy says, or even what we falsely tell ourselves.

This has just stuck with me all day and I wanted to share it - I hope you don't mind.

I honestly hope her term "addressess" catches on - I absolutely love it! God is in the "moving" business. I can't wait to open my "Address Book" and see where He is moving me to next.

Our Senior Princess

These are a few of my favorite Senior pics for Sis. We have started the college tours and I am getting a little anxious realizing how fast she has grown up. We pulled up to the admissions office yesterday at one of the campuses and had our own personalized parking spot - right on the front row - with her name in print and all. Maybe that is common, but this is all new to us so we were pretty impressed to see her name on her own parking space. Choosing a college is very overwhelming and there is so much to consider - of course, financing is a big concern but when you are talking your child's future, there is a great deal at stake. We pray for God to move and place her where she needs to be so to fulfill the plans He has for her - He will provide the means.

We have a couple more we are going to visit and a slew of paperwork to get submitted regarding admissions and scholarships but it is fun entering this chapter of our lives - she's so excited and ready to get started - we are very proud.

In The Way Everlasting



Have you ever wondered why God didn't spare you from making some huge mistakes? I'm talking sinful mistakes here. In my depression several years ago, God lead me to Psalm 139 - now one of my favorites. I really focused on the last 2 vs, asking God to search and know my anxious thoughts (I had ALOT of anxiety during this time), see if there is any wickedness in me (I didn't necessarily feel wicked, but I definitely felt wickedness pressing in all around me), and lead me in the way everlasting (I so desired everlasting peace & joy - just to be happy again).

During that time, I framed those verses to serve as a constant reminder and hope in my God to deliver me from this dreadful pit - it's still on my bathroom counter today and I pray it often. My thoughts, however, are to see if there is any wickedness in me and spare me from it - You deal with it, God - get rid of it so it won't cause me any form of suffering.


This past year has been me dealing with some consequences of sin and I often wonder how I even got here. I had prayed in times past for "immediate" conviction - yet here I am. Why didn't God answer my heart's prayer?

Recently, during prayertime with my great friend, Linda, as we were focusing our attention on praying for our church and asking God to give us the spirit of wisdom so we can REALLY KNOW Him, He reminded me of what happened in the garden after Adam and Eve had partaken of the forbidden fruit. God asked Adam where he was - not because God didn't know, but He wanted Adam to realize where He was now - separated from His Creator and Friend. He now needed a Saviour because all hell had broken loose in his life and he felt hopeless, scared, and ashamed.

God did answer my prayer and He did abundantly more than I asked or imagined - He saw the wickedness in me sure enough - but I NEEDED TO SEE IT ALSO. In His grace and mercy, He showed me I need a Saviour - every day - apart from Him I can do nothing - I am nothing.

He is that Saviour!

I hope this blesses your soul today - we are on the way to everlasting. Amen!!

Drawing Near

James 4:8 says, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." For some reason, I struggled with this verse today - I have heard it 'who knows how many times' before - I think it bothered me because it seems to put alot of responsibility on 'me' and I'm a mess - I don't always know how to "draw near" and I'm very scared of failing; missing Him.

Jesus tells us in John 12:32 that HE WILL draw all men to Himself when He is lifted up and John 6:44 says, "No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me DRAWS him."

So we have Jesus telling us that HE WILL draw all men to Himself and NO ONE can come to Him unless He does DRAW them; but then James says, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." Hmmmm.....

I received a pretty cool image of being by the water's edge and seeing something out a little way from shore. You want to "draw" it in, so you gently place your hand in the water and start moving the water towards you, in turn, the current begins to move the object closer to where you can reach out and bring it in closer to yourself. That object really has no choice but to go where the current directs, but we on the other hand, we sometimes swim with all our might - we fight against the current with everything in us to try and break away.

I think maybe that is what these verses are saying - God's sovereign hand is the one lovingly stirring those waters and trying to "draw" us to Himself and He is telling us in James to stop fighting - draw near - as we surrender to the current and allow ourselves to move in His direction, He will reach out - draw near to us - so He can grab hold and bring us in safely to Himself.

HE IS doing the drawing....I don't know what current you may be fighting; surrender and DRAW NEAR.

It's Been A Long Time

Wow! It has been a long time since my last post - what can I say, I found Facebook and have been communicating thru there. I have been missing this so I'm going to start it up again. So much has happened it the last two years - Sis is a Sr. this year and Bub a Sophomore - I can't believe it. Bub broke his arm Spring of 2009 and Scott's brother passed away just before Christmas 2009 - I think we are all still trying to grasp this. After Steven passed, Scott went to the dr. to get himself checked out and we were told he needed open heart surgery very, very soon. Our family was still grieving the loss of Steven - only a couple months had passed at this point, and now we were getting this news. Scott went thru the surgery on March 5, 2010, and is doing amazingly well. He is back at work, and other than a scar and he quit smoking, you wouldn't know we had gone thru this.

You would think that I would have so much more to update after nearly two years, but after the holidays in 2008, Bub broke his arm, work got crazy, holidays again and Steven passed, then preparing for Scott's surgery took a huge toll on this year - plus there was just normal life stuff - basketball, prom, homecoming, work, etc. I was thinking about how in 2008 - just before my "blogging" hiatus, I had gone on a mission trip to China. I was on a mountaintop, and must say, I was a little proud of myself for going - that was so far out of my comfort zone, I sometimes still can't believe I was obedient enough to go. I am so glad God allowed me to go; He so blessed me with that trip, but then immediately "life" happened and I found myself just trying to get by. I have been seeking and growing and thankful to God for that, but using this medium to share just lost its place in the schedule.

I wanted to use this blog to just unload thoughts, update about my family, journal what God is doing and showing me, and just to share life - however, that may look. I have written quite a few devotionals over the last few months and am going to try to get them loaded on here soon.

If you happen to read, please post a comment now and then, that is always encouraging. Hopefully, I will update soon and not in another two years.